i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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