im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
