Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
