porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
