are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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