I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
