I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
