Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My life is pants optional.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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