a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
