Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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