summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
