If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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