And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
