he shaved USA in his pubs
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
