please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think my nap took me to another dimension
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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