pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
