is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
