At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This is the high leading the old right now
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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