Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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