On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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