Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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