I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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