Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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