Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
