She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
