Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
