You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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