I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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