She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
