I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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