Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
