i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
