sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
