Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
