i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
They have beer where we have blood.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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