Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
