oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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