you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
