but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
