I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
