everyone is single if you try hard enough
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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