Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
