and she was petting her beer can
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize