then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
