Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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