She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
