im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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