Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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