Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
