I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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