when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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