i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Two words: nipple clamps
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