i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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