He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
