I showed him my bush... on skype.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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