At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize