I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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