pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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