Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
