And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
