We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
